It’s Not You, It’s Me

My Dear Samsung,

There’s never a right time to say this so here goes..

I can’t pretend that our relationship can continue in the way it has the past few years. I know that it’s time for a change and I need to be true to myself. When we first started out, you were the best thing that happened to me. You took me places I had never been and we explored whole new worlds together.

I wondered how I had ever existed without you. I couldn’t imagine life without you and before long, I was hooked. 

We went everywhere together, in fact I couldn’t leave my house without you. Birthday dinners, family gatherings, vacations – you were ALWAYS there. Yet somewhere between the start of our relationship and now, you took over my life.

I don’t know when it happened, all I know is that you started to control me. I thought I was smart enough to spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship but you tricked me. Slowly, unexpectedly, I started to believe I was nothing without you. I felt overwhelmed anytime you weren’t near. You encouraged me to believe that appearances were more important than reality so I spent countless hours on social media trying to make my reality look more glamorous than it was.

Before long, I lost myself. Our relationship became so intense, if I spent just fifteen minutes without you I felt empty. I couldn’t function if I didn’t check on you regularly throughout the day. In the end, you didn’t need to vie for my attention – you had it completely.

Looking back, there were so many signs. You were controlling and possessive. Anytime I was in conversation with someone else, you interrupted and tried to keep me away from them. You demanded one on one time with me, so much that I could be in a room with others yet still not present.

You encouraged me to download so many apps, convincing me that it was trendy and made me relevant. What you failed to mention was the fact that I wouldn’t be able to go five minutes without being distracted. You didn’t tell me I would end up with a short attention span and become incapable of focusing on one thing at a time. I would no longer be able to read, write or spend quality time being creative without you screaming for my attention.

There was this one day I left home without you, accidentally of course. I realised a few minutes into the drive that you weren’t with me and honestly, I panicked! Should I turn back and go home? But there was no turning back. I spent the rest of the day away from home with my fiancé. Initially, I thought it would be a long day without you but it was surprisingly freeing! When I got home, I rushed to see how you were doing and to my surprise, absolutely nothing had happened. 

No calls, no messages – nothing bad had happened and dare I say, I had a great day without you!

This got me thinking. I had been prioritising you over the things I love. Our dysfunctional relationship had me putting your demands first. I was dependent on you and you were relentless in keeping it that way. That’s what you were designed to do! I have realised that by staying in relationship with you, I am self sabotaging and not doing the things that are actually important to me.

And so I have decided that this needs to end. You demand my attention in a way that is unhealthy and it’s time to take my life back. It won’t be easy but in time, it will get better.

Time is irretrievable and these are moments that shouldn’t be wasted. I want to live my life and really live it – not to impress others, but to be present in every step. I want to dream, build, run, write, create.. and follow through! I want to be fully present without feeling the need to post my every move. 

I’d love to go on walks and enjoy nature without needing to get you involved. I want to go out to dinners and enjoy good company while you remain in my purse or at home. I want to explore new paths, go on scary new adventures and live outside of my comfort zone.

I lost confidence in some of my abilities because I stopped pursuing them while spending time with you. I know that in time, I will get my confidence back. 

I will no longer feel guilty for leaving you at home, in my bag or in the other room so my life isn’t filled with distraction. And while we’re establishing new boundaries, you will now sleep in the spare room so I can get uninterrupted sleep!

I guess I’m saying all of this just to say, my dear Samsung S8..

Can we just be friends?

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